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Quaz's World


About Me | Depression | Family Photo Album | The Family | Michelle | Rysha | My Pets | Vacation Photo Album | Some poems I wrote | Favorite Links | Contact Me

My Story

Here is a few links to help you along the way


Plain Take about Depression

Bipolar Disorder & Manic Depression

Doctors Guide

Imformation & treatment

Major Depression Symptoms

Major Depressive Disorder

Wing of Madness support

Dr.Ivan's Depression Central

Mental Health Disorders

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Introduction to Depression

Depression Resources

Assertive Communication

Learning to be Assertive

Self Esteem

Fitness Jumpsite

In mid 1999 I went to see my Doctor because something was wrong, I wasn't feeling to good.I had no idea what was setting in.I had my boss at work asking if I was ok,unable to truely answer him because things I thought were normal at the time. I just went on with things.I only wish I knew
before hand that my mind was being swollowed up by which turned out to be "Major Depression Disorder."
At the time before this things for me were going so good.I had it all, a good job,a wonderfull family,the sweetest women I have ever known, things were GREAT.
Well as time went on I got I guess worse,ending my relationship,having to book off from my job, becoming distant from my family and friends.
I ended up on a rollercoaster ride to hell,locking myself in
my room for days on end.
Having NO ability to care,work,think,feel,cope,decide,judge.
"not caring about life" Being Empty.
This is not the words of a mad man.It's the words of a horrable illness called DEPRESSION...It is so hard to explain to anyone, to tell or educate about unless they themselves have been there.Chances are they will just not understand.They may look at you as a freak or someone that just went weird.When really it is no ones fault.I guess it is natures way of making you or breaking you.And beleive you me "it can and will if not treated early".This illness has the power to destroy you and everything around.It can rip your family apart,shreading your life into a zillion peices.My god there is no real honest way to explain this,to tell a doctor, or a family member,a loved one or even a friend.As I have learned unless you have been there or you are willing and open to education there is just no way.I ended up paying the ultimate price and when things for me got really bad I was shocked to find out who my true friends really were.Even though I lost a handfull of friends including my girlfriend I did however gain some. ;-)
I feared that this illness was winning the war,but I have become devoted to changing all this,to end the nightmare.I am getting some much needed help with this via:support group,education and intence work outs at the gym.I WILL BEAT THIS !!! (and so can you)

My Children "bless their hearts," they watched and lived with me,they themselves know first hand what this illness is like,and they never even went through it.I guess,in a sence they did.They were and are my strength, my support,and a place I was always welcome for a hug ;-)

I attended a day program at Mission Mental Health which I have found out to be a wonderfull place.Not only is it a great support team it is a wonderfull source of education for me. I have learned that I am not alone, to turn all my negative thoughts and feelings into positive ones.To accept that I have an illness.And to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.This has been and still is a challange for me.As I see it,this will make me so much stronger in life.My life has changed so much for the good (I hope.)Learn to be assertive and "THINK POSITIVE." Get rid of any and all negitiveity in ones life.Thats how I am looking at things now! A very good place to start atleast.

The better I feel now the more I think about the friends that gave up on me.I would at this time like to say to all of you that you gave up on a good person.It wasn't my fault that I ran into problems.If a family member of yours ran into the same serious and horrable thing as I did "WOULD YOU WRITE THEM OFF"Think about it.....How fair is that?

Family Photo Album